And there I was, identifying gray hairs in my bathroom mirror
slinder bristles rising through the shaving cream
but just then the razor hesitated…
How many of these fragile hairs were days well spent?
It seems like all of my Todays are turning into Yesterdays that pile up like unopened mail
Perhaps I’ve spent too many days moving from one building to another
where wallpaper peels from restless sighs
-same empty box of cigarettes
for faking smoke breaks just to see the sun.
I mourn the years I burned through calendars like lit matches
only counting paydays, numb each week til Friday
sacrificing days like pawns just to save one chess piece
and I thought about the countless sunsets that I’ve missed
when I was only 5 feet from the door
locked inside a prison with no bars called Choice
and all the while forgetting there are stars that fill the sky on clear nights
homesick for a time when I remembered to look up at them.
Time is like a sickness we come down with,
a kind of trance that pulls you hard in one direction
the seduction of new sunrises
addicted to Tomorrows
I really couldn’t tell you what it was that made me step outside
to walk into the cold and let the tiny hairs along my arm move with the friggid air
to feel connected to the sky as if my feet were fingertips just barely touching
not just the view I see from windows
lined with potted philadendrons like young wolves raised in captivity
who’ve never tasted rain before.
I watched a ravenous horizon swallow every drop of sunset
as the starlings plucked their shadows from the wires one by one
a blue, denser than memories, filled in the sky.
Objects in the distance surrendered their reflections to the silent tyranny of Night
who left her sweet perfume of freedom everywhere she walked
and a porcelain moon with perferct imperfections flaunted its marble finish.
It was just another night you know but somehow it invited me to be a part of it
as if all this time it had been like a town I only ever drove past.
Waking from my trance..
“I wonder what direction I was headed in so fast?”